DESTINY CALLS - 
- 000 56
User:Mr.Leaf/Selling Out
From Lostpedia
| Parody Alert! This article's subject matter is parodical and non-canon in nature (but distinct from hoax and serious fanon material) This material is generally fan-created, but occasionally from official or commercial sources. |
|
According to this far-fetched theory, Lost is not actually a program created to entertain and stimulate viewers, but a vehicle to sell products. While for many, the idea that television might be used for commercial promotion of consumerism sounds like crazy talk, a large body of evidence has been collected to suggest that there are nefarious commercial motivations behind this seemingly innocent form of entertainment.
Contents |
Details and irrefutable evidence
You may have heard from The Lost Experience that the DHARMA acronym stands for Department of Heuristics and Research into Material Applications. As DJ Dan would say... "HOAX!!!" All obviously made up to cover up a much larger and more diabolical conspiracy by The Man.
Let's look at the evidence in side-by-side comparisons:
Chicken Suit Guy from Hurley's Dream
Story
The DHARMA Initiative is a division of Kraft Foods, Inc. and Walmart.
DHARMA actually stands for:
Degroot-Hanso advertisement research and marketing analysis
Their mission is to test market consumer goods, in this case with a small sample demographic of slightly obnoxious, protein-deprived castaways, of varying ages & backgrounds. They tempted our LOST crew to come to the island as part of a pyramid scheme/island time-share scam.
The Incident refers to their attempt to market New Coke in the '80s, which failed quite miserably and resulted in Dr. Marvin Candle losing an arm. Once they are successful, they will move on to the general population and take over the world with the help of Microsoft.
MYSTERY SOLVED!
Additional facts
- The Apollo Candy Company is a subsidiary of Kraft
- Jeep owns Oceanic Airlines!
- A missing segment of the Sri Lanka video will play as follows:
"And in conclusion, I'd like to say... Do the Dew.
Only then, will we know the one true way has been found."
Pros
- Where do you think all the generic-brand food packages from the supply drop come from?
- The Lost Experience is an excellent example of commercialism gone mad.
- Sprite (parent company Coca-Cola), through Sublymonal, is a sponsor of TLE
Cons
- None that I can think of, except that we may all be screwed if it's true.
Disclaimers
- This is a parody theory that is entirely meant in jest. I myself am a minority, and add the racial stereotyping intentionally as part of a spoof to poke fun at theories based around superficial physical similarities between characters.
- I do not in actuality support discrimination based on skin color, gender, beardedness, baldedness, dog breed, or pizza delivery career status.
- I have no known association with Kraft or Walmart and do not wish to get sued by either.
- I welcome anyone to add to this theory.
